The next time your husband misbehaves, secretly slip a bright red enema bag into his briefcase as he's heading off to the office. If he complains about becoming embarrassed when he opened his briefcase in front of everyone at the board meeting, that there was the rubber enema bag, plain as day for all to see, the scarlet cord curled up inches from his boss's nose like a snake about to spring, and those two guys across the table who usually trade football stories with him over the water cooler are nudging each other, and especially that pretty female co-worker seated directly to his left, the one with the piercing green eyes and the short grey skirt who half-rises, startled, tell your husband he shouldn't get so bent out of shape.

Justify your actions by letting him know that he simply should have explained to everyone at the meeting there is nothing wrong with a man carrying around an enema bag in his briefcase. In fact, enemas have been used throughout history.

The Greek historian Herodotus wrote in The Histories about the Egyptian's use of enemas. 'For three successive days in each month they purge the body by means of emetics and clysters, which is done out of a regard for their health.' In fact, papyruses telling of enemas are on display in museums. In Hindu scriptures, one of the six acts of body purification is Basti, an herbal enema, while in North America, American Indians created enema syringes out of animal parts.

Your husband could go on to point out that during the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries in Europe there was a great fad for clysters, an early name for enemas. A clyster syringe resembles a large metal turkey baster with a wood handle and some were made with the grip set at a right angle so they could be used alone in order to avoid embarrassment like your husband experienced. Tell him everyone in the board room has surely heard about Dr. John Harvey Kellogg's famous Battle Creek Sanitarium in Michigan in the early 1900s where a daily regiment of colon hydrotherapy, irrigating the colon for hygienic purposes, was a requirement of primary importance.
Then when your husband tries to make it up to you for misbehaving, and offers to take you out for drinks for a change, you know, like when you two first met, tell him, sure, bottoms up.